Lady In Red

* "A Christmas story, in October?" you might ask, but given the stores' early seasonal displays of Christmas merchandise in October, and that this is a Christmas shopping story... well, you see why it must be posted now, in October... to warn others, before it is too late.

~.~ A Cautionary Christmas Shopping Tale ~.~

When we were young, Mommy loaded us up in the Ford Club Wagon and took us out to Shreve City to shop for Christmas presents. We bought things that were not too expensive, but tried to customize each gift for the person we were purchasing it for.

On this occasion, Marty's and my friend, Jamie Easman, came along, and we went into a store called G. C. Murphy's. It was like a precursor to Wal-Mart or K-Mart with its variety of items.

I don't remember what I got for anyone else, but I do remember what I bought for Mommy... a lipstick called "Lady In Red".

It was the perfect gift, because she always wore red lipstick. I was very pleased with my choice for her, and promptly went to the cashier and paid for it.

The next series of decisions would mar my Christmas shopping experience, and scar me emotionally, for years to come.

I knew we'd be headed back out to the car, where Mommy would be waiting. I thought she might ask, "So what did you get?" - this was very flawed logic, as Marty always declared, "Christmas is a time for secrets!" - but, I didn't want to spoil my surprise of the perfect gift for her, by any hint of a package, and the packaging of the lipstick wouldn't fit in my pocket. I took the package out of the bag, removed the lipstick from the package, then threw package, bag and receipt in the nearby cosmetic area trash can. I put the lipstick in my pocket, happy because Mommy would be none the wiser about what would probably be the best Christmas present she was ever to receive!

As Marty and Jamie were still browsing, I stood around in the cosmetic area - just in case the gifts they were selecting were for me! : ), as I didn't want to spoil their surprise.

Before long, a pinched-face woman approached me, holding me by the shoulder, and said, "Come with me!"

She led me to an office in the back of the store, presented me to a stern man sitting in a desk.

"What's your name?" He barked.

Hey, I thought, this is no ordinary, dumb 5th grader you're dealing with, but an avid reader of Nancy Drew mysteries! I didn't want a police record, so I quickly answered, "Ann Elise"- No last name, as if Elise was my last name.

"Empty your pockets!" he ordered me.

By now I figured that the offense I was being charged with had to do with the lipstick in my pocket. Just to stall for time, I began to put out the schnibbles of Kleenex that I always had in my winter coat pocket, shredded by my habit of poking my thumbs through the tissue and tearing it to bits, looking like hamsters had made a nest there. After one pocketful, I could see the man was growing impatient, so from the second pocket, I ignored the other nest, and pulled out the offending lipstick and placed it on the desk.

"You stole this!" the man accused me.

"No, I didn't. I paid for it." I quickly explained my reasoning about Mommy waiting in the car and the element of surprise. "I put the package, bag and receipt in the trash can. I can show it to you."

The pinch-faced saleslady said she would take me to see if the cashier remembered me, grabbing my arm roughly and holding tight. The man warned her to "Watch her like a hawk!" (Yeah, I'm a hardened criminal!)

During my "incarceration" and interrogation in the back room, Marty had been a frantic mess. She hadn't seen the woman lead me away, but Jamie had, and told her "a lady came and took Annie away".

The woman took me to the harried cashier station to check out my story. To my horror, NO ONE remembered me! I reminded her that my package and receipt were in a place that I could show her, and I prayed that no one had since emptied the trash!

She warily let me (in her firm grasp) lead her to the cosmetic area, where I produced the evidence of my legal purchase! Vindicated, I asked for the lipstick back, and without so much as a "We are sorry to have falsely accused you and scared you, and your sister and friend who thought you were kidnapped", they admonished me, "Don't you EVER take something out of the package in the store again!"

We left the store and hastened to the waiting van. Mommy, seeing all of our white faces, knew something was up. She asked what was wrong.

The whole sordid tale of woe - my false arrest and imprisonment (under my "assumed" name), my "kidnapping" and eventual joyous return... and worst of all the spoiled surprise of the "Best Christmas Present EVER!", the "Lady In Red" lipstick - poured out of us, like water over Niagara Falls, in a tumbled rush of words and emotions.

I vowed never to go into that store again, for as long as I lived!

On Christmas morning, Mommy was overjoyed by her lovely lipstick and my thoughtful gift and heroic, though thwarted, actions to keep it a Christmas surprise. I reveled in the joy of knowing that I had indeed given her the most perfect gift, and a truly Merry Christmas.

~.~

Hallucinations and Hot Steam

Yesterday, Mommy was very agitated. I don't know quite what she was upset about, but she tried to hit me. She said she was "trying to protect herself". She also asked if I had been the only one in there, and when I said I was, she apologized - she must have been hallucinating that someone else was in there, doing something to threaten her.

After I got her settled down and back in bed, she asked, "Does my dad know where to find me? Does he know I'm here?" I explained that yes, he knows where she is, and that he's watching over her from heaven. I bet she was wishing he would come on the weekend and bring her a Hershey bar and take her to the movies.

The hallucinations and her odd behavior must have unnerved me a bit, when I had to walk the dogs later than usual, after dark. As we went down the hill to a very dark part of the road, shaded from the moonlight, I thought I saw, like a mist - rather than felt - a "hot steam"- a hot spot in the road that Jem and Scout (To Kill A Mockingbird) think is "somebody who can't get to heaven, just wallows around on lonesome roads an' if you walk through him, when you die you'll be one too, an' you'll go around at night suckin' people's breath-". I quoted from the book, the thing you are supposed to say when you walk through one, "Angel-bright, life-in-death; get off the road, don't suck my breath!" I chuckled, and felt silly for feeling the least bit afraid.

When I got back, Mommy was wondering "what's up with the chicken business?" She says "a woman brought chickens into there" - pointing at the bathroom. Yes, definitely hallucinating.

She is constantly moving one leg and flapping one arm (as if fanning with the covers), and is very agitated. There are days where she is unable to walk, at all, but then it comes back to her, and I find her sitting on the couch watching "those people who are always looking in the window." I tell her that's not a window, it's the tv. They can't see you.