Merry CHRISTmas!

Christmas Eve Mommy went with us to church. Meg was singing with the choir and was the cantor. Mommy was a little apprehensive about knowing what to do, but our order of mass is the same as used in the green hymnal at St. Paul's, so most of it sounded familiar, and she was glad to sing many of the Christmas hymns she knows (following the words seemed a little difficult, like going back to the next verse- I don't know if it was because she forgot how to go back up to the top, or if she just couldn't remember the verse we had just sung-probably a combination of the two. I just pointed on the page to where we were at the time.), and it was good to sit next to her and hear her sing in her beautiful voice.

The Christmas pageant was done in lieu of the gospel reading, and brought back so many memories of past pageants...the major production that started at Adam and Eve (Mel was Adam); the one where Mary was played by Marty (was that the one where I was one of the 3 kings?) where Kelly McClellan, as an angel, went up to we 3 kings (of orient are..) and to the shepherds in turn, asking each, "Are you my brother?"; the one where Carl had practiced "Away in a Manger" so diligently, but ended up asleep in a corner, with his bottle dangling from his tired little angel mouth; or a later one where his voice was recorded and he sounded just like Linus in the "Charlie Brown Christmas"... good times... good times.

On Christmas Day, Mommy joined us for opening presents and lunch. Then on Saturday, the 27th we were joined by Linda, Melissa and Todd, Chris and Jill, Paul and Thomas and Grace, for our family celebration. Mommy came in for that (she can't realize that her apartment is only through the door in the sun room-it's too abstract an idea). She did fine for a while, but then toward afternoon she started asking who was giving her a ride home? or where was she spending the night? Anyway she will really enjoy the pictures in the digital frame. They are a good representation of our family.

We enjoyed getting to know Jill (Mikey said, " It seems like she's been in our family for a long time.") and we are delighted that Chris has a job with a Shreveport computer company. He starts on January 5. We were excited to learn that he hopes to lease (with option to purchase) Mommy's house, so it will remain in the family! It's wonderful, and he did a lot of work with John and Linda to fix it up, so he really knows it inside-out now. Mommy seemed to like the idea as well.

Sunday we went to IHOP for supper. So, now she's pretty exhausted with all of her outings and visiting. This morning she told me that she woke up and thought, "Where am I?" and later in the day she is still confused. Shadow gave her a little bit of a vacation by going to the groomer's, but then we had to plant notes on the doors and her phone that Shadow was at the groomer's, but she still asked about him.

She told us the other day, I just wish I still got mail here. We've explained that she gets all of her mail here- she got a bunch of Christmas cards (Yes, there's one from Chris Davis with his usual flair for exaggeration and sarcasm, e.g., his daughter "pupped " again, the baby has only eight fingers... the other two are thumbs!) and the packages y'all sent her, magazines,etc. We take care of her bills...she just forgets what she's gotten. She also got a call from Lenora and said she had a nice visit with her (Lenora just had a birthday and turned 65!). On Christmas Day she was looking in the Shreveport phone book for "Irene's number, to wish her a Merry Christmas." We had to remind her that Irene died, and Bennie Hiller, too.

It's a mix of emotions, but mainly we are grateful for the time we have with her, and the love and support of family. God bless you all.

Full-Circle

The other day, in a moment of clarity, Mommy told me that she appreciated me taking care of her, and that she realized how much it has changed our lives.

I told her that she deserved to be taken care of. She took care of Grandpa (Pretzer) and Grandma (Griese), and now it was her turn. (She said that they weren't as bad as she is.)


It demonstrates how life comes full-circle; because she cared for them, and we learned by her example; we now care for her. (John, too, grew up helping to care for his grandparents, so his example was the same.)


I had a similar epiphany one day when Meg was little. We were at Mommy's house in Shreveport, and were looking at The Pretzers of Pomerania, a genealogy study including Mommy's relatives. I got to the part about her father that read, "John and Anna had a daughter, and named her Margaret."


I was like, Whoa! deja vu. Yes, we did. (Okay, so I'm not Anna, but I was named Ann Elise after Anna (Mommy's mom) and Elise (who raised her after Anna died when Mommy was 9 months old). John is named after both of his grandfathers, John (Johann) and Rudolph. When it came time to name Meg, we naturally named her Margaret Emma, for both of her grandmothers. Margaret means pearl (hence, Pearls of Wisdom), and Emma means universe. I always tell Meg, she's the "pearl of our universe".


So, it came to pass, again, that "John and Ann had a daughter, and named her Margaret."

"Angry Eyes"

Did you ever see the episode of Seinfeld where Uncle Leo burns off his eyebrows? He gets a marker or something, and draws new brows on, only he makes them very thick, dark and slanted downward toward his nose. His friend comes in (complicated plot-line aside) and says, "Leo! Why are you so angry?"

Or...when the toys in Toy Story 2 are going in search of Woody, after he's been taken by Big Al, and Mrs. Potato-Head is helping Mr. Potato-Head to pack...She reminds him to take his "Angry eyes"?

Some days, Mommy gets a little crazy with the eyebrow pencil. She will either have the aforementioned "angry eyes" or raised eyebrows that make her look very surprised. I don't mean to be disrespectful (disclaimer meaning I'm getting ready to be), but it just makes me want to laugh. Lord knows, she can't help it, but, well...we have to find our humor where we can. God forgive me.

Mommy locked herself out of her apartment on Monday. I went to the bank for Mommy, then to get stamps for her Christmas cards, but as I pulled into CVS parking lot to get her chewable calcium supplements, I suddenly just told myself, "Go on home. Do this later." When I was minutes from home, John called and asked,"where are you?" I said by the boys' school. He said," Well, Grammy's locked herself out of the apartment and she's at Mrs. Glasscock's" (next door).

When I got home, I saw them getting up from the kitchen table (they have a bay window there on Mommy's side), and coming to greet me. Of course, Mommy was very embarrassed and agitated. She kept talking about going to all of the neighbors' houses and none were home. (She really only walked around the back yard and knocked on the sun room door. The gates are locked, except the one by the sidewalk, but the lock is in the gate, just not locked). Mrs. Glasscock saw her wandering around the yard and thought she might be getting cold, so rescued her and called John at work.

I've been afraid to leave since then. I go to drop off and pick up the boys from school, but I save everything else until they can be home while I go shopping or whatever. I'd rather spend that time with the boys, but they understand. John changed the doorknob that day, so it's impossible to lock yourself out.

She keeps asking are we going to celebrate Thanksgiving? I tell her we did have 2 Thanksgiving dinners. One at home and the other on Saturday at Linda's. "Did I go?" Yes. "Did I eat?" Yes. We tell her Carl and his gang, and Paul, Thomas and Grace, Chris, Brian, Tina, Aunt Jessie and Uncle Max were all there at Linda's. Remember we took two cars, so you and John could come back to feed and walk the dogs? She just looks at me like she's pretty sure I'm making this up.

I'm working on her Christmas cards. She dictated a letter for me to type and print, but then forgot that we had done it, and tried to dictate it again. We went over who she wanted cards sent to, and who she didn't...

John's going to put up the lights and tree (hers, anyway...we'll probably wait 'til Meg's home for ours) this Saturday. She said she told Janet last year, that she'd always think of her when she looks at the tree (Paul and Janet gave her).

The boys and I will be selling gumbo at the Christmas parade for their Boy Scout troop. I'm glad John will be off (and at home) then.

Last night she asked John, " Is he (Shadow) my dog?" Yes. "Where does he sleep?" In here with you, on the bed, or the floor, and sometimes the couch. She said it was going to be cold tonight, and she hoped he didn't have to sleep outside. (Shadow hopes so, too.)

When Meg was home, she didn't know who she was. I don't know if she knows Carl and Maurenne were here. Any change (even a slight one) is so confusing, and once it's over, it's wiped from her memory.

But, I'm sure, in her heart, she knows us all.

She never had a problem remembering to eat lunch, but now I ask, "Did you eat?" I don't know. I think so... but I look and find no evidence of her having done so. I just routinely, now, take lunch out to her or prepare it in there. We also have to check on supper. So far, no trouble with breakfast, though there have been a few days where I had to fix that, too, because she just didn't seem to have it in her.

The other day she washed her own hair, but had no clue how to "roll" it.

She gets very distressed over being so "scrambled", and I can tell she is fighting for control of her thought processes, as much as she can, but it feels like a losing battle...it is a losing battle.

We're just trying to do the best we can to keep her safe and healthy.