"You know what's good for that?...Dishwater!"

The other day I was cutting Mommy's fingernails and noticed they were pretty dirty. I said "Maybe you should soak these. 'You know what's good for that?...Dishwater!' Remember how you always said that?" She smiled and nodded.

We all hated to wash the dishes. I don't know why. As far as chores went, it was cooler and easier than say, weeding the garden or cleaning your (multiply-occupied) room. "It's not my night! I did them last night." (I, for one, put it off as long as possible, often finally getting around to it during the 10 o'clock news. I don't know how Mommy could stand to wait that long for me to get them done.)

But she never missed an opportunity to extol the many curative powers of dishwater...
"My hand (finger, arm, head, foot) hurts!"
Her answer, "You know what's good for that?...Dishwater!"
Any ailment or heartache was no match for the magical properties of hot water and suds (For humans...poor Kim probably heard all about the wonder that could be found in the kitchen sink, and flew in search of that restorative fountain of youth...alas, parakeets, apparently find the bubbly incompatible with life).
They all were met with this sage advice, "You know what's good for that?...Dishwater!"

That line was (what Matt and Mike would refer to as) her catch-phrase.

Anyway, the dirty nails made me realize what I had been trying to ignore... She's really been neglecting her hygiene. Going weeks without washing her hair, not even bothering to comb it unless I urge her to do so. I'd say, "Let me help you wash your hair." Sometimes she would submit to my clumsy attempts to do so at the kitchen sink, or she would wash it herself. But the time had come to make it more of a routine thing. John and I got a shower chair for her tub, and with a folded towel on the seat, it's sturdy and somewhat comfortable. With my help, and the bathroom heat blowing hot, she and I managed to get her hygiene needs taken care of. The hand-held shower was much easier to manage hair washing, and served the dual purpose of getting the rest of her clean in the process. She and I both dreaded it, beforehand (it represents one more thing "lost", her independence and ability to care for herself) and neither of us wanted to acknowledge that, but we've jumped that hurdle and it will be easier from here on out.

I got her some new "pink curlers" (you know the sponge ones she always uses) and she rolled her hair. This morning when I went in the apartment, she was sitting on the couch with her hair looking so beautiful...just like always.

Got Gas-X?

Today wasn't a very good day for Mommy. She must have asked me 7 or 8 times about where we are going to have Thanksgiving dinner. I explained every time that we are not sure of Carl and Maurenne's plans, yet, but we are going to have our Thanksgiving meal on Thursday, but the big family gathering will be on Saturday at Linda's house. (Usually if she asks something so many times, the answer begins to sound familiar, and she will say, "I've asked you that before, haven't I?", but the answer never sunk in.) I think her biggest concern was,"Does everyone know how bad my memory is getting? I'm sure the big question will be what are we going to do about Mommy." Mommy, we're already taking care of you here, I assure her.

Every day seems like a Saturday. "What's today?" Monday. "Monday?!" I thaught it was Saturday.
Today is Saturday? No, it's Tuesday. Tuesday? What happened to Sunday and Monday.
What's today? Wednesday. Wednesday? I thought it was Saturday.
What day is it? Thursday. Thursday? It seems like a Sunday. (okay, they're not all Saturdays)

She told me the other day, "With the holidays coming up, someone could get me one of those ID bracelets or necklaces, just in case I can't think of where I live. I don't think I'll wander..."
"No", I tell her, "I don't think you will either, but it is probably a good idea to have one."
I don't mention that John and I have been talking about getting a lock or alarm for her outside door, for at night. We do lock the gates.

She told me one night she dreamed that there was a news report of a little 80 year old lady going from house to house asking for Gas-X at 3am. She thought to herself, "Was that me?"
For weeks, she wore a dress over her nitegown...I guess to be presentable if she should need some Gas-X during the night.

It's so upsetting to her when she's aware of how confused she is, but it's worse for me when she isn't...last night she asked me, "When do we go home?" This is your home, now. That's why we have all of your furniture and things here with you. "Good...we don't have to go anywhere."

Love, Your Big Sister,...

It was 2nd grade picture day, only, I wasn't looking too great... I had asked Mommy to fix my hair to be special. She had rolled it up and tied it with rags. It was going have big ringlets. It's always a bad idea to change your hair for picture day (a lesson I wish I had remembered when I decided, with disastrous results, to part my hair on the side, for a change, for 9th grade picture day). When we woke up, Mommy and Linda were gone. Linda had driven her to the hospital. Now who was going to fix my hair? My hair ended up looking like a bird had tried to make a nest in it, but I was too happy to care.

It was November 9, 1966. We had a new baby sister (thank goodness she was a girl, otherwise I think her name was going to be Frank).

Daddy was in Vietnam, and I remember writing a letter to him in class:

Dear Daddy,
Mommy had the baby today. It's a girl, named Janet Carol.
She weighs 7 pounds, 9 ounces.
Love,
Annie


Janet would be 42 tomorrow.

I love and miss her so much...

Happy birthday, Jannie.
Love, your big sister,
Annie

Always Grateful

No matter how confused or lost Mommy is, she never forgets to say, "Thank you".

Happy Birthday, John!

I know, third entry today. The one about voting was for today. Yesterday's, The Best Gift, was lost because we have a new computer and I hit a key and lost it, so had to re-enter it today. The third is one I included on the lost one, but felt it merited its own entry and title.

November 4 was also John's 50th birthday (yeah, he's now the same age as I).

I wanted to take this opportunity to wish him a Happy Birthday!

I also want to thank him so much for everything; his love, his patience, his opening his heart and our home to caring for Mommy (he simply said, "She's my mommy, too.") for working so hard to support us all, and wanting the best for our children and our family, for keeping his promise to Daddy (that he would take care of the house and Mommy), and for always being there for me and the kids, always knowing what to say, setting a good example, being active in the Church, and trusting in God.

I love you, Bear, with all my heart, and soul, and being. I thank God for you, every minute of every day.

All my love,
Annie

p.s. Mommy was right when she said you were a "good egg".

The Best Gift...

This past Saturday, Paul, Thomas, Grace and Linda (they picked her up in Shreveport) came over for a visit. While we were all exchanging greetings, Mommy asked is this all that are coming? I answered, yes, did you want more? "I just always expect Janet to be with them." (I said I was sure she is with them.)

We had a very nice time; lot's of snacking on chips and salsa, veggies and chocolate chip cookies (baked by Grace) and brownies (baked by Linda), and sharing pictures, etc. on computers. I know Mommy enjoyed the fact that they were here, but I could tell she was not following much, if any of the conversation.

I've noticed, lately, that if I don't use the most simple sentences, she has trouble understanding what I say. She also complains that the TV anchors just jibber-jabber all day long, "talking so fast, you can't even understand them."

She fretted when they started to leave ( brought in a pad and pencil for me to write "who's going where? and with whom?"). They're leaving and we are staying. I guess she felt like she was solely responsible for getting everyone where they needed to be. It was just (such a simple thing), too confusing and complicated for her to comprehend. Now, I wonder how Thanksgiving is going to be for her. Maybe, if people will visit with her, one at a time, in a quiet space...it would be better for her, and the visitor.

I know she is glad to see family. She once told me that "the best gift you can give someone is your time."

God Bless America

So, we went and voted yesterday. For weeks Mommy has been asking, "Am I registered to vote here? Where do we vote? How will I get there? When do we vote?" Finally, the big day arrived, and we went and voted (there were long lines, but one kind poll worker came and pulled the three more feeble looking ladies-one in a wheelchair, one with a cane, and Mommy, to come to the front of the line-I got to go, by default"she's with me"). We got to the car, and Mommy asked, " So, what did we vote for?" When John got home, he asked how voting went? She didn't remember voting.

Oh, thus be it ever, when free men shall stand between their loved homes and war's desolation.
Blessed with victory and peace, may this heaven-rescued land, praise the Power that hath made and preserved us a nation.
Then, conquer we must, when our cause it is just; and this be our motto: In God Is Our Trust!
And the star spangled banner, in triumph, yet waves o'er the land of the free and home of the brave!

How can you not love the national anthem, the flag, the pledge, the ideals our country was set up on? How can you take the American Dream of coming to this country (legally) and working hard and long to build a home and future for your family, and make it wrong or selfish to have done so? How can we have elected someone who has so little regard for all we hold dear; truth, honor and justice? How can our country survive?...I guess the same way we survived it before, when Clinton was in office... by believing that our founding fathers set up our government to last, by trusting the process, and most importantly, by praying to God to preserve us and keep us "one nation, under God".

I'm depressed by the election results, but have hope and faith in God to help us through whatever lies ahead.

I also pray for strength and patience to continue caring for Mommy as her memory worsens. It's not just her memory, now, but her whole thought process...her mind just isn't working right. Keep us in your prayers, as we do all of you.